Some of these would be “it,” “he-she,” etc. There are many terms that are offensive for people that identify as transgender or any other form of gender non-conforming. Knowing a person’s pronouns is not the most important thing in the world but respecting a person is, so try not to demand something of someone when they’re not comfortable giving it. “Hey, what are your pronouns?”), but it is generally preferred that gender non-conforming people come out with their own pronouns on their own terms. You can ask that person, as long as you do so politely (i.e. "Hello, my name is Alex and I use they/them/theirs pronouns.") It also prompts them to provide pronouns without it being awkward. Try to introduce yourself with your own pronouns so that everyone you meet knows that you’re a safe space and that you won’t assume a person’s pronouns. Usually it’s safe to use they/them/theirs unless that person tells you otherwise. Sometimes people just don’t want to share their pronouns and that’s fine. Hir is pronounced like “here” and hirs is similar, but with an “s” on the end. Ze is pronounced like Americans pronounce the letter “z,” like “zee.” When a person introduces themselves to you with their pronouns, they’ll normally pronounce it themselves. If you want to see more, Google is your best friend. Note: There are many, many more than these out in the world. Here’s a handy chart to help you along this step. Choosing to ignore or disrespect someone’s pronouns is not only an act of oppression but can also be considered an act of violence. It is never safe to assume someone’s gender and living a life where people will naturally assume the correct pronouns for you is a privilege that not everyone experiences. When someone refers to another person using the wrong pronouns, especially on purpose, that can lead to that person feeling disrespected and can lead to dysphoria, exclusion and alienation. When someone asks you to use their pronouns, they are asking for you to respect their identity. Pronouns are one of the ways we portray our identities.
If someone tells you their pronouns, use those! If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, don’t assume gendered pronouns and use gender-neutral ones, like they or ze. For example "Samantha left her keys at my place last night." Pronouns are how you refer to someone if you are not using their name.
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